


TO ROBERT

by chitwncat



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M, Suicide, brief mention of self harm, slight metion of mental health issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 00:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11680521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chitwncat/pseuds/chitwncat
Summary: When one of them dies unnecessarily how does the other cope and move on?





	TO ROBERT

**Author's Note:**

> I chose to write a story that includes the death of one of the major characters. It is sad, at least it was to me while I was writing it. This was my second attempt ever of writing a fan fic.

TO ROBERT

"So come on Aaron. Show me. If you don't show me I'm coming over there and ripping that shirt off of you" said a concerned but furious Robert.

"Pffft, like you could" responds Aaron.

At that moment Adam knocks on the door and Robert yelled for him to come in, followed by Vic both unsure why Robert had called them to the Mill.

"What are you two doing here" asked a worried Aaron knowing what was probably about to happen.

"I called them here. This is all getting out in the open for good. So come on Aaron take your shirt off and show us how well you have been communicating with us after you promised me a month ago you would stop bottling stuff up." Robert says while he walks over to Aaron and without hesitation reaches up grabs Aaron's t-shirt and rips it off his torso.

There was an audible gasp from Robert, Vic and Adam as they saw all of the fresh cuts on Aaron's chest and stomach. Aaron is so mad he is about to pop Robert in the nose when he sees tears suddenly streaming down his husbands face. Aaron stops and just stands there looking at Robert suddenly realizing the enormity of what is happening right now.

"Aaron" Robert whispers barely able to get the word out and hardly audible over the little whimpers coming from Vic.

"Mate, what have you been doing to yourself" are the first words from Adam while still trying to get his head around what he is looking at.

"Aaron, I did this to you didn't I. This is all because of me. Tell me. It is isn't it?"

Aaron doesn't respond he just stands there feeling mad, guilty, frustrated and sad. Just really really sad.

"Aaron I asked you a question. This is all because of me and the baby isn't it?" Robert asked again even more forceful.

"Yes, OK, I started again because I can't cope with everything Robert. Not just the baby and Rebecca but your lies and your love of money and your don't care attitude. Everything Robert."

Robert just stands there finally hearing Aaron's true feelings come out.

"Is that how you really feel Aaron?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it now would I." said an angry Aaron starting to get his voice back.

"Now wait a minute boys. Lets take a step back. There is no need to say things that you know you don't really mean." was Adam's attempt at peacemaker.

"No Adam. Just maybe we are finally getting Aaron's true feelings for me. Come on Aaron we have talked about being honest with each other so am I getting your honesty now finally? You might as well finish what you are thinking."

"Robert he doesn't really mean that. Do you Aaron." says Vic.

"So come on finish it. Tell me the rest. Tell me you no longer love me and you want me gone. That is what you have been thinking and feeling now for quite a while isn't it. I've seen it in your eyes but was to scared and selfish to want to believe it. But now, looking at you Aaron. It's pretty obvious. So come on. Finish your thought. Tell me to go and I'll be gone and you'll never have to worry about me again."

"That is what you want isn't it Robert. Me being the bad guy so you can finally go run off to Rebecca and your son."

"No Aaron that has been my sisters wish all this time. She's the one that actually been wishing for that. Not me."

"Robert, I have not thought that. I know you love Aaron and he loves you."

"No I don't. Not anymore Robert. I thought I could still. But look at me. Does this look like love. No Robert I don't love you and I need for you to go."

Without saying a word, Robert set his beer on the counter and started to walk to the stairs to go up and pack a bag. 

"Now wait, wait. Aaron you didn't mean that. Tell him you are just mad and you didn't mean that." Vic cried while Adam just looked at his best mate in disgust.

"No, he heard me just fine didn't you Rob"

It took Robert all of ten minutes to pack a couple of bags with his immediate needs and head back down the stairs. Victoria was still standing by the couch crying while Adam had his hand on Aaron's shoulder trying to talk some sense into his best mate about what is just about to happen.

He takes a look around the Mill then walks over to stand in front of Aaron. 

"I'm truly sorry for everything" With that Aaron lets out a snide grunt. 

"Yeah Right"

"Fine, if you are going to play it this way. Aaron I'm sorry I wasn't able to be Mr. Perfect for Saint Aaron all this time. Maybe you'll have better luck next time finding a perfect man willing to put up with your crap and your families crap 24/7. Maybe this time the septicemia will actually get you." Robert regretted that last sentence when he saw all three of them cringe. But he didn't really care. He was hurting and when he hurts he really doesn't care who else he sends down with the ship.

And with that Robert takes the Mill key off his key ring and pulls his ring off his finger. He grabs Aaron's hand, opens it and places them in his hand. "Do what you want with them."

Robert turned and left the house with Vic chasing after him. But he was in his car and up the drive before she could catch him.

Meanwhile Aaron stands there looking at the key and ring in his hand with a tear streaming down his face.

"What have you done mate? What have you done." Adam slaps at Aaron not believing what Aaron had just done. Are you really ready to lose Robert forever mate? Forever?"

"You think he's actually going somewhere? You don't know Robert very well. He'll be back in a day or two. He loves his theatrics."

"I hope your right mate. I hope your right."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been six weeks and no one has heard anything from Robert. No one has a clue where he has gone too. It was about week three of Robert being gone when Aaron started to realize that Robert might actually be gone for good and that is when Aaron lost it. He never meant what he said to Robert. Of course he loved Robert and he always would. Why would Robert not know that. But Aaron told him that day in front of Adam and Vic so it is not like he can deny he actually said that to Robert.

Aaron struggled the next three weeks with everything. Adam had moved in with him to make sure he wasn't still cutting or harming himself in other ways. Cain, Lisa and Faith also were keeping eyes on him. It was at the six week mark when Chas and Liv finally returned to Emmerdale and they were shocked to see the condition of Aaron. It was then that he finally agreed to get help. Instead of seeing a counselor once a week Aaron agreed to check himself into a facility where he could have 24/7 treatment and supervision. 

Aaron stayed at the clinic for 3 weeks and finally returned to the village as the leaves were changing at the end of September. He felt good. He felt strong. He felt like he could deal with things. He felt like he might be able to move on from Robert. Even though what he really still wanted was for Robert to come home so he could apologize to him and let him know how much he still loved him.

He had only been home less than a week when he was surprised by a visitor from Leeds. The man had requested a meeting with a list of names that he would like to have attend so Aaron and Liv set about getting everyone to the Mill.

It was then that the man identified himself as Robert's solicitor. Robert had hired him to handle his estate. There was a quiet gasped from several in the room with everyone looking at Aaron who didn't know how to react.

Over the course of the next hour the solicitor laid out all of the arrangements Robert had made. As the solicitor explained, Robert was a lot more wealthy that he ever let anyone know. He first started saving and investing a good ten years ago and then when he become employed by White Industries he invested even more heavily. After he became a part of the White family Lawrence had rewarded Robert significantly because the man had single handedly pulled the company out of possible bankruptcy to significant success. Then there was the divorce settlement from Chrissie and eventually Lawrence buying Robert out of the business. 

As for keeping his wealth quiet. It wasn't that he was selfish and wanted it all for himself. It was that most of his money was always invested and not available to use at the drop of a hat. He just felt telling people about all of the money would have everyone assuming he could spend whatever he wanted whenever he wanted without a care in the world. That was not the case with Robert. He liked to live comfortable but he was also very frugal with his money always wanting to make sure there was going to be enough for his and Aaron's future. Never believing his good fortune would always be there.

The solicitor proceeded to then explain the arrangements.

1\. Large trust funds had been created for Liv, Sarah, Jack and Robert's unborn child.  
2\. A check to Chas to cover buying out Charity at the pub, Chas' own mortgage which would make Chas the sole owner of the free and clear Woolpack Pub.  
3\. Checks for 250,000 pounds each for Victoria and Diane.  
4\. A separate fund to cover any and all tuition and expenses for Liv going to any university of her choice in the UK. If Liv chooses not to go to uni the fund will be donated to the Hotton Mental Health Clinic.  
5\. Finally for Aaron. Robert had signed over all of his shares of the scrap yard and Home James to him. Four separate savings accounts that Rob and created that were for different things in Robert and Aaron's future. And last the remaining folder of Robert's existing investments. All totaled the remaining worth of Robert's estate that was left for Aaron was 16.2 million pounds.

Everyone in the room was speechless at the moment. No one had a clue he had this kind of money. Aaron especially wasn't sure how to feel about this as his mum rubbed circles on his back.

After a moment it was Paddy that spoke up asking if there was anything else hoping he was going to be able to clear the living room and give Aaron some space. He could see that he was about at his breaking point.

"Unfortunately no. I still have one more bit of unpleasant business." Aaron looked at the solicitor and felt it coming and before the man spoke again the first tear was rolling down his face.

"Robert's car was found abandoned on the beach just outside of Whitby this past week. Inside the car were these letters addressed to Diane, Victoria, Liv, Aaron and to his unborn son. "

At that point Vic let out a blood curdling scream. Gasps came from just about everyone else while Aaron keeled over in his chair with the worst pain in his chest he had ever felt. He felt his hands go numb and his legs turn to jelly. Aaron suddenly tried to stand but instantly collapsed to the floor with Chas, Paddy and Liv immediately at his side.

The solicitor didn't want to continue but he new he had to. "Robert gave very specific instructions on where and how to file his death certificate. He also requested that there would be no memorial service or a marker in the graveyard. He said he would appreciate it if his husband, his family and the rest of the village did not pretend to love him now just because he is no longer alive." The last comment of the solicitor was unbearable to Aaron and everyone else in the room. Robert died believing no one loved him. Aaron wasn't sure if he could ever come back from that.

The solicitor left the letters and the paperwork on the table and excused himself out of the Mill while the rest of those present dealt with the final punch in the gut they all have just received. Robert had ended his life after losing the love of his life.

Everyone convinced Aaron to check himself back into the mental health clinic after that night. It was Chas that suggested to the clinic they needed to put her son on suicide watch. She knew her son and what state of mind he was in.

It was the following week when word came down that Rebecca had gone into labor and had given birth to her son. And Ross Barton's son. Rebecca finally came clean about the fact she had always known the baby was Ross'. She just really wanted it to be Robert's and had hoped he would leave Aaron for her when he thought she was having his baby. Rebecca never stepped foot in Emmerdale again after leaving the hospital. She did try to reach out to Aaron but was intercepted by Chas warning her that if she tried to contact Aaron or Liv ever again Chas would make sure she joined Robert at the bottom of the sea.

Aaron remained in the clinic as a patient for two months before discharging himself. He briefly returned to Emmerdale to sit down with everyone to discuss the future. Aaron no longer had a desire to run the scrap yard. He had decided he needed to leave the village and he was unsure how long he would be gone. Aaron turned over all of the scrap yard shares to Adam plus a check for 100K pounds. He wanted to make sure Adam could make a go of it and that he had the additional funds to hire proper help.

Liv was given the choice of staying in Emmerdale so she could complete her GCSE's and then do what she wanted to do or she could go to Dublin to be with her mom. Liv wanted to stay with Aaron but he did not feel comfortable with that. So Liv made the decision to stay in Emmerdale. Aaron had convinced Adam to move into the Mill so Liv could continue to live there like she always wanted to.

Chas had a hard time accepting that Aaron wanted to leave the village. She tried everything she knew to convince him to stay. But in the end she realized he needed to go. The memories were just to strong here for him. Robert was in the air everywhere and she knew Aaron struggled with that. She just hoped his time at the clinic had made him strong enough to be able to continue on with his life and try to find happiness. Mother and her son's good bye was tough. Aaron did not know where he was going to land. He just needed to go.

================================

He ended up at first in Barcelona. Robert had planned to bring him here once. Aaron spent a week visiting all of the places he knew Robert would have drug him to if they had made the trip. Each night he would find himself at a cafe toasting the love of his live and telling him everything he saw that day.

Aaron then found himself walking the strip in Las Vegas. It was almost a year now since they were to have came to Vegas and got married. Aaron had booked himself a room at the Bellagio because he knew Robert would have only booked them a room at the best. He even sat through a Circus Soleil show knowing Robert had absolutely loved those shows and couldn't wait to take him to one in Vegas.

It was in Vegas when Aaron started to think about where he wanted to end up. He soon realized he had this need to be as close to the sea as he could. The sea had been Robert's final resting spot and Aaron just felt the need to be close to the sea. So, for the next year Aaron traveled from sea to sea. Los Angeles, Puerto Vallarta, Hawaii, Putket Thailand, Rio, Capetown South Africa, Canary Islands, Mykonos. Aaron visited them all. Eventually he landed in Costa Rica. He liked the remoteness. He decided it was a good place to put down some roots for a change. The calendar had just turned to January 2019. Aaron was turning 27 years old It had now been sixteen months since Robert's death. It was time to make a new home. He knew this was a place that Robert would have loved. 

\------------------------------------

Aaron discovered he wasn't afraid to spend the money Robert had left him. He knew that money had been one of the things that had broke them up so he has been making it a point to not be afraid to use the money Robert had left him.

Aaron purchased a home. It was a home he new Robert would be proud of. New, modern and with every amenity Robert would want up to and including the pool and hot tub he had refused to let Robert install at the Mill. Aaron purchased a charter fishing business and to keep the family tradition going he also purchased a beach side bar and grill. With a bit of remodeling what had been Freddie's Bar and Grill was now known as the "Woolpack on the Beach" Both the fishing charter and the bar became quite successful for Aaron. He was proud of himself for having absorbed much of Robert's business smarts.

\-----------------------------------------------

The two year anniversary was coming up. Chas, Liv and Adam hadn't heard from Aaron in over a year. The last they had heard from him he was living in Goa, India. They all just had to have faith that no news was good news. Liv had done very well on her GCSE's and had just started year two of her A levels. Chas had heard Liv more than once in her room talking to no one but telling both Aaron and Robert how much she missed them and that she was determined to make them proud. She had become a top student, the head of her class. She also didn't hesitate to always apologize for whatever part she played in their little families destruction. 

Chas found herself thinking about Robert more than she ever thought she would. In the end she knew he had been good for Aaron. But that hadn't stopped her from being so horrible to him all those years. She knew she held some responsibility as well. She had hung Robert's picture up in the pub that winter after his death when she finally came to terms with everything that had happened. She wanted to make sure no one forgot the man that loved her son. The man that saved her pub. 

Diane and Vic tried to honor Robert's wishes but they just couldn't in the end. They had a marker for him placed just inside the entrance to the village graveyard. Robert was not buried there but they needed a place where they could honor and remember their brother and step son.

Believe it or not Adam had turned the scrap yard into a roaring success. No one ever suspected he had the business sense to accomplish that but he did. He had hired both Pete and Finn Barton and the three of them had the business booming. It had become so successful that Adam approached Nicola and Jimmy and they agreed to sell Home James to Adam as well. If only Aaron knew that he and Aaron were now co-owners of a business once again. Adam continued to live at the Mill with Liv. The two of them had slowly become a proper little family. Adam and Vic were starting to date again as well but nothing to serious. One step at a time. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

It was October 20, 2019. Robert's death second anniversary had passed them by with no issues or scares coming from where ever Aaron was. Most everyone had forgotten what this date was but it was Liv who suddenly remembered. She went up to her room and pulled a small box out of her bedside table. There were the two rings. Liv had kept them. No one knew she had them. But today, she needed to get them out and hold them. It was three years ago today. The crash and the proposal. To Liv it felt like yesterday. Today she allowed her self to get just a little sad. If only....................

It was later that night when the text came from Aaron. He had sent the text to Liv, Chas, Paddy and Adam. It was the first they had heard from him in 14 months. And the message? "You have twenty minutes to get to the Mill. I will be contacting Liv's computer with a request for a skype call."

The four of them sit around the kitchen table waiting for the call. Scared, anxious, excited, nervous. 

Aaron was right on time with his call. There was lots of crying from Chas and Liv but it was all happy tears. Aaron had nothing but a big grin on his face. Suddenly they knew. Aaron was happy. He was happy and he wanted them to know that he was happy.

Aaron told them about his travels and how he ended up then in Costa Rica. They were shocked to here that was where he was. They all expected for him to return to England or at least Europe. But Costa Rica. Aaron was skyping from his home. He told them about purchasing his home and knowing Robert would have loved everything about the place. He gave them a tour of the home, the pool, the rooftop deck that looked out over the Pacific Ocean. He told them he had learned how to surf and had become an avid fisherman.

As he continued skyping he hoped in his jeep and continued talking to them as he drove down to the docks. Aaron had timed it perfectly as both of his large charter fishing boats were returning from taking their latest customers out for some deep sea fishing. He was excited to tell them about the charter business he had started after moving here. The sign over Aaron's fishing business was very obvious to the four of them. "Robert's Charter Service" . Aaron knew they had all seen the sign so he just pointed out to them that Robert's money had paid for the business so his name deserved to be on the business. The four of them just smiled while Liv wiped a tear from her eyes hoping no one had seen.

Aaron had one last stop to drive them to on this call that was already going to cost a fortune but no one really cared at this point.

The jeep stopped and Aaron took the computer and was walking a short distance. Finally he turned the computer camera around as he told them about his other venture. There on the screen for the four of them to see in big bold neon letters. "Woolpack on the Beach" In smaller print. "Owner Aaron Dingle, son of Chas and Paddy, brother of Liv, best mate of Adam and husband of the beautiful late Robert Sugden of Emmerdale, Yorkshire, United Kingdom. Aaron had purchased a beach side bar and restaurant. They could see it was an amazing place. He had created himself a little slice of Emmerdale right there on the beach in Costa Rica. 

It was then that Aaron surprised them by telling them he had purchased 8 first class tickets for them to come visit him at his new home. With the eight tickets they could decide who actually came. Once they decided he would make reservations for them at the local resort that he also had a part ownership in.

Once they got over their excitement, Aaron asked Adam to get four beers for them at the Mill. And yes, Liv could have a beer. After a moment Aaron turned around and watched a guy come and bring a pint to him and then sit down next to Aaron with his own.

"Guys, I also want to introduce you to Danny. I met him about two months ago when he was visiting the area. Danny is from California and he's a marine biologist by trade. He has relocated now to Costa Rica and is teaching at the university in San Jose while also traveling back to San Diego on occasion to continue the research he is involved with. Danny and I started dating about a month ago. It's still early but we get along very well. Say hello to everyone Danny."

Aaron turns the camera on Danny and gives him a chance to say hi. He tells Chas she has an amazing son and Liv, an amazing brother. The four of them probably had more surprise faces than happy faces during the introduction and that is when Aaron turn the camera back on him.

"Guys I'm happy. Don't worry or be concerned. I have learned to be happy. None of my old issues have reared their ugly head at all since I left Emmerdale. And, I know Vic isn't there right now but I want everyone to know and then to tell her that I have not forgot about Robert. And, I do know what this day is. Robert will always be right here" as Aaron taps on his chest. "Danny is fully aware of the amazing Robert Sugden and our love affair and marriage. But the one wish Robert always had for me through all the time we were together. Be happy. That is what Robert wanted for me more than anything. To be happy. When we had are darkest days together he told me over and over that me being happy was all that mattered to him. I never told any of you this but the day he told me about the one night stand with Rebecca. When he was ready and expecting me to toss him out on the curb. After he apologized for like the thousandth time he told me then he would gladly die if it would guarantee my happiness." 

Aaron sat there for a minute while catching his breath while emphasizing that is exactly what Robert had done for him. Danny reached over and rubbed Aaron's forearm. This did not go unnoticed by the four of them sitting around the table knowing that was the exact same action Robert would always do to keep Aaron calm. It was Chas that spoke next.

"Aaron luv, you know Robert would be very proud of you. You have done well and he is watching and protecting you. You know that don't you luv? And as for Danny, Rob would be very happy that you have found someone. He did not intend for you to remain single and forever mourn him. He knew life goes on and he wanted that for you. We are all so happy for you my baby boy."

With that it was Aaron who had got his emotions back under control.

"That is why I made sure it was today that I called you. I made a promise to myself that I would never forget Robert and I want you four to make that same promise while you raise your beer and we offer a toast to Robert Sugden. The man who had been the love of my life. The man who wanted nothing more than be a family with me and Liv but unfortunately life got in the way. I have already apologized to Robert numerous times these past two years for how I ended it with him and today, I know he has forgiven me. So to the most amazing man I have ever met..... Robert Sugden." 

With that the four of them sitting back in Emmerdale also raised their beers "To Robert."


End file.
